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Anorak | Worcester man steals condoms, octopus and toothpaste: Katie Price prosecutes

Worcester man steals condoms, octopus and toothpaste: Katie Price prosecutes

by | 28th, June 2012

LOCAL news story of the day arrives via the Worcester News, wherein we learn: “Man blames work stress after stealing condoms and octopus.”

How he must have toiled to find both items of desire in the one shop in Worcester city centre. Further reading reels that Mark Brookes did not create as orgy because the octopus was tinned and he is not pervert, merely stressed out.

The 49-year-old also stole a 50p mag from WH Smith, an ordnance survey map and a compass worth £30 from Millets, two light sticks worth £2.99 from Tresspass, toothpaste, soap and those condoms worth £6.79 from Superdrug, refuse sacks worth £1 from Poundland, a tin of octopus worth £2.50 from Papson’s Continental Deli and a shoe brush worth £3.95 from Timpsons.

The tin lid on this story is presented by another name: his prosecuting brief is named Katie Price.

The man was duly fined him £150, ordered to pay a £15 victim surcharge, costs of £85 and compensation of £2.99 to Tresspass for the theft of the light sticks.

In other rag week news…



Posted: 28th, June 2012 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink