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Anorak | The Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Love Story – in pictures from Xenu with love

The Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Love Story – in pictures from Xenu with love

by | 1st, July 2012

SO. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are to divorce. When we saw Tom Cruise bounce around on the Oprah Winfrey show as he enthused wildly about his young lover, the actress Katie Holmes, we thought that very soon she’’d be pregnant or in intensive care. Eight weeks after their first date, he took her to the Eiffel Tower and proposed.

A marriage ensued.

In Odescalchi Castle, Italy, the best man, Scientology headboy David Miscavige oozed:

“While through the ages many a tale has immortalised eternal love – most especially Rome and Juliet – this one is truly unique…If there was no tale of greater woe than Juliet to her Romeo, there is no greater joy than the tale of Tom and Kate today. And yes, it too is forever.”

The couple agreed to keep each other content, though life can be filled with fret and pain” . The Scientology Minister warned Katie that “life is stark and often somewhat grim. Tom then gave her a white gold Cartier diamond ring and a pre-nup to sign.

Suri – she who must be obeyed

Then to the silent miracle of the baby. Katie was with child. Outside the couple’s home, a sign decalred: ““ Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and child .”” The Scientology way decreed that failure to do so would inflict “psychic” damage on the child which can only be addressed through years of therapy. While mothers looked at their Asbo-laden brood and wondered how different things could have been had they not screeched “”Drugs! Give me drugs”” at the moment of truth, we spotted another board. It read: “Be silent and make all physical movement slow and understandable.” Holmes tried not to spasm, thrash about or race around the room begging: ““Get

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Posted: 1st, July 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink