Ashton Kutcher: The swordsman of beautiful women, despite being thoroughly repugnant
HOLLYWOOD women clearly have no taste in men. No-one underlines this more than Ashton Kutcher, who has unfathomably had his member in the close proximity of a number of beautiful, coveted women. Not only that, they end up falling in love with him, showing that it isn’t just a matter of enjoying a ride with a celebrity with a face like a knee.
Demi Moore, despite the fact Kutch humped a young girl in a hot-tub on their wedding anniversary, is said to be ‘beyond heartbroken’ after rumours emerged that Ashton was getting his long, bony leg over with Black Swan star, Mila Kunis. You know Mila Kunis right? She could have anyone on Earth, but she’s somehow decided that America’s answer to Michael Barrymore is the one for her.
A source said that Demi was devastated over pictures which emerged showing the pair kissing on a balcony.
“Even though Ashton cheated on her all the time, it was with random girls, it wasn’t a relationship like it is with Mila and that is what is killing Demi now. Seeing photos of him kissing another woman is too much for her to handle, it’s like having her nose rubbed in it time and time again.
“She kind of knew it was definitely over between them but I think she was still holding out a little hope for a reconciliation – now he’s actually dating someone else she knows that’s not going to happen.
“Each time Demi hears about Ashton and Mila it breaks her heart. She really loved him despite the flaws in their marriage and to see him dating someone new, who is so much younger than she is, is like a knife in her heart.”
See? Ashton Kutcher, somehow, has managed to convince two whole women that he’s worth getting worked up about, even though he’s got the personality of a mop.
Perhaps men, the world over, should use him as a figure of inspiration. If a berk like him can get that far in the world, then ostensibly, there’s hope for every single one of us.