Anorak | Robert Pattinson gets ice-cream from Jon Stewart over K-Stew break-up

Robert Pattinson gets ice-cream from Jon Stewart over K-Stew break-up

by | 14th, August 2012

DESPITE being a man so outrageously dull to the point where death itself will probably overlook him, Robert Pattinson is feeling the first stirrings of feeling. After years of being a veritable clump of human flotsam, he’s trying to produce some tears and emotion.

It really is beautiful to watch.

And this, of course, is all because his ex, Kristen Stewart allowed a married, older man to insert his penis into her. Kristen and The Other Man issued public apologies and millions of Twilight fans moistened with a bizarre mix of lust and pity for Pattz.

And so, tottering on his hind legs into the light, Pattinson found himself on The Daily Show to talk about his newly found feelings. The first question from Jon Stewart?

“What have you been up to?”

Then, The Daily Show host handed him a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, saying “We’re just a couple of gals talking”, before adding: “The last time I had a bad break-up, Ben & Jerry’s got me through the tough times, so I thought you and I could talk about things?”

Then, remarkably, Pattinson found a semblance of humour, noting that he should have hired a publicist, since most actors never approach an awkward interview without scripting some answers, before Stewart leapt in coo in a lady’s voice: “Boy, you are better off without… so kick her to the curb!”

Then, the heavens erupted, splitting into two with all the heavens orbs hanging fierily in the sky, all trumpeted

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Posted: 14th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink