The First International Goldfish Championships creates an impression
At the first International Goldfish Championships, 3,000 swimmers and their trainers have arrived in Fuzhou. One will take home the the title of World Goldfish Queen.
Ye Qichang, who sits on the judging panel, explains:
“We judge goldfish mainly by five criteria: breed, body shape, swimming gesture, colour, which is very important, and overall impression,”
Swimming gesture beggars the question: how do you train a goldfish?
The show seems like something cooked up by goldfish to keep their owners from growing bored. Says one goldfish:
“It’s hard to know what they want. When I go under the bridge and kiss the mermaid, the humans stand there opening and closing their mouths. But that’s pretty much all they do. Still, they keep coming back to stare. It’s like they’ve got no memory of having seen it before. But I’m a professional. Give the punters what they want, eh”…