The Kardashian Klan are in panto – plot and photos
THE Kardashian clan are ready for pantomime. The great 14 and Holy Candy have cast Kim Kardashian as Booty, Kanye West as The Ego Beast, Bruce Jenner as Taut Teacup, Kris Jenner as Leaky Teapot, Khloe Kardashian as The Khlock, and tragic Kris Humphries as Old Flame in Booty & The Beast.
“When Booty’s magical 72-day marriage tragically dissolves, her mother warns that she must find a famous suitor to keep her name in the tabloids, lest she fade from public memory like her old friend Paris Hilton.
“Think of the family,” her mother implores. “Mama’s Bentley is not going to pay for itself.”
Despite her uncertainty about the exact meaning of “suitor,” Booty bravely scrolls through the contacts on her phone to see if there is somebody…anybody…in the Greater Los Angeles and New York areas she has not yet dated – all in the name of keeping the Kardashian Kollection alive at Sears for another day.
Suddenly, Booty stops on a name and gasps.
“No. Not him. I couldn’t…”
But it is too late. When Booty’s mother sees The Beast’s unsmiling face appear on the screen, she insists on making the union happen.
“To Nobu, it is! I will alert TMZ.”
At first Booty is apprehensive about a boyfriend who doesn’t play a professional sport, and whose “greatest pain in life” is that he “will never be able to see himself perform live,” but soon the paparazzi’s tremendous interest in them puts her at ease.
One of the most ego-filled romances of all time, Booty and the Beast appeals to a horrifically large number of people who have made Ryan Seacrest an even richer man.”