Pregnancy gives topless Kate Middleton a craving for tarmac
Poor, Kate. Sources tell us that she desperately wants to be known as the Middleton sister with the great arse but, stubbornly, it remains the only body part the press remain unable to focus on. Pippa is the buttocks. Kate is the breasts. Let’s hope Kate doesn’t develop a complex at this pigeonholing.
The Star has seen photographs in Star magazine (no relation), showing Kate with a rounded tum-tum. The headline declares:
“Scandal turns to Joy: It’s Twins. Pregnant Kate gets thrilling news”
The picture of Kate’s stomach might have been photoshopped. The Daily Star says the picture has triggered “fury”. Marc Walker writes:
The latest blow to the royal beauty and husband Prince William, 30, came after a string of trashy foreign magazines published topless photographs of Kate.
No word on the trashy newspaper that did the same, you know, the Daily Star Ireland:
Critics have swamped internet forums to slam Star, which has no connection to Express Newspapers, publishers of the Daily Star and Daily Star Sunday.
Neither is it connected to the Daily Star Ireland, which published photos of topless Kate and is half owned by Richard Desmond, owner of Express Newspapers.
As Walker writes the news through blinkers, we search in vain for the fury and instead spot a cracking quote from the editor of Se og Hør, a Danish organ that has broadcast photos of topless Kate The editor says:
“The duchess willingly [showed] her breasts to a public road.”
The quote shattered our Bullshit-ometer. Although, if Kate has a thing for flirting with tarmac. We can surely expect more of the same as the Duchess demands the Royal convoy pull over so she can climb onto motorway bridges and gerrum out for the full six lanes…