England team resigns to spend more time watching John Terry and their girlfriends
“I am today announcing my retirement from international football. I am making this statement today in advance of the hearing of the FA disciplinary charge because I feel the FA, in pursuing charges against me where I have already been cleared in a court of law, have made my position with the national team untenable.
“I now look forward to playing for Chelsea FC and challenging for domestic and European honours.”
Says one England player: “Bugger! When JT was with England you knew he wasn’t at home trying shag your girlfriend, allegedly.”
Says one JT fan, quoting his idol: “We let in three fucking knobhead goals because there was a c*nting sending off and we were down to untenable men.”
Expect more resignations to follow…