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Anorak | Let us eat badgers (unless you’re Brian May who advocates cannibalism)

Let us eat badgers (unless you’re Brian May who advocates cannibalism)

by | 25th, September 2012

MUCH has been howled at in terms of the imminent badger cull. Badgers, you see, are not only pretend cute (cute from afar, tearing your face off and much larger than expected up-close) but they’re also meme-friendly and the pal of Bodger. To kill off a load of them would be to hurt many-a-feeling. However, the living half of Two Fat Ladies, Clarissa Dickson Wright, has just the solution!

Eat badgers.

That’s right. We should totally eat a protected species. She ate them when she was younger and, if a cete of badgers should get offed, then we humans should gorge on their gigantic bodies. Provided we don’t catch tuberculosis from them.

She said:

“It would solve the problem. There’s going to be a cull, so rather than just throw them in the landfill site why not eat them? There are too many badgers. It’s very interesting – the reason at certain times of the year you see so many dead badgers on the road is that the badgers throw out their old and ill that aren’t going to survive the winter.

“I would have no objection to eating badgers. I have no objection to eating anything very much, really.”

And on eating badgers in her past? ‘

‘Staple food of the population, well before rabbit because rabbit was a luxury food. Rabbit in the middle ages cost a man’s week’s wages for a single rabbit. People ate badger because badger was plentiful. When I was a teenager most of the pubs in the West Country had badger hams on the bar just like a jamon iberico. And it was delicious. It tasted like young wild boar.”

The outrage is subsiding now it transpires that badgers are walking around with delicious boary meat on their backs. Someone start a badger farm at once!

Of course, Friend Of The Badgers Brian May (he’s got nothing better to do now that Queen are even more farcical than they were when Fred Mercury was alive) is not impressed, calling out the nasty lady by saying: ”I think we should seriously consider eating senseless people like this Clarissa whoever-she-is. She’s obviously outlived her usefulness. I wonder if she would be best boiled or braised.”

So, not only should we eat delicious badgers, but according to Brian May, we should eat humans too. Excellent. More food for Anorak.



Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink