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Anorak | Justin Bieber stole man’s credit card for penis enlargement (also: Firework sodomy)

Justin Bieber stole man’s credit card for penis enlargement (also: Firework sodomy)

by | 24th, October 2012

 Justin Bieber stole mans credit card for penis enlargement (also: Firework sodomy)

LADIES and Gentlemen, brace yourself for one of the oddest celebrity stories you’ll ever hear. Okay? Ready? Here we go.

Justin Bieber is being sued by a man who claims that the pint-sized popstar stole his credit card and used it to buy himself penis enlargement surgery. Get that? The Michigan resident has filed the lawsuit against Bieber is also claiming that he’s the father of the singer and actress Selena Gomez, who is Bieber’s girlfriend.

And the man isn’t done there.

The lawsuit also claims that Usher sodomised him with a firework whilst playing Katy Perry’s song ‘Firework’. Get a good picture of that in your mind’s eye.

Again, he’s not finished there.

The lawsuit also alleges that Bieber bought cocaine for him and P Diddy with the stolen credit card, and that Bieber is cheating on Gomez with Ke$ha, Rihanna and actress Penelope Cruz.

The suit says ([sic], obviously):

“Bieber has cost me $426.78 and never paid me back. This money was used as abortion money because Justin Bieber got my daughter Selena pregnant in my bedroom, on my canadian bear rug… Usher Raymond came to my house on the forth of july 2012 and sodomized me with a firework and lit it inside my anal area while blaring kate perry firework song in my ear drums.”

He adds that Bieber “gave selena a std and Bieber stole my credit card to buy him and sean p-ditty combs cocaine to use in drug free school zones… Bieber also got a penis enlargement with my stolen american express card. “

Someone give this man a job in television IMMEDIATELY.



Posted: 24th, October 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink