Hurricane Sandy is here because of those awful gays
THE weather is not something anyone can control, not that religious people understand. They’re like those people who wear lucky underpants, thinking it has any discernible effect on an upcoming football match (your pants/god has about as much influence as the lifeless mop in your kitchen).
And so, with Hurricane Sandy battering the East Coast of America (as well as the Caribbean, not that any of the TV newsrooms actually care about the latter, despite the obvious apocalyptic narrative they could adopt), the fundamentalists are out in force and looking toward god to see who they can blame for this awful, freak weather system (which has already been adequately dissected by science).
Amongst the theories, some Christians are saying that Sandy has been sent by God to batter the traditionally Democrat-leaning East Coast of America as a pre-election message. Basically, God likes Romney and Obama supporters better stay home on voting day.
There’s also the idea that Sandy is the beginning of the Rapture, as predicted in the Bible (Revelation 16:21). Some of our Muslim pals are in on it too, saying that Allah is showing his wrath with Obama, Romney and their Zionist puppet-masters of the ‘illegal Israeli terrorist regime’ by spewing forth the fires of Hell.
In terms of exciting language, Islam is definitely beating Christianity.
However, the biggest mouthpiece is John McTernan who has stated that Hurricane Sandy is further proof that “God is systematically destroying America” as political judgement for the “homosexual agenda“. Of course, McTernan has previously made similar allusions about Hurricanes Katrina and Isaac.
He says: “Just last August, Hurricane Isaac hit New Orleans seven years later, on the exact day of Hurricane Katrina. Both hit during the week of the homosexual event called Southern Decadence in New Orleans!”
And McTernan believes that all this is breakable by code and that we should take note that Sandy is hitting 21 years after the ‘Perfect Storm’ because 3 is a “significant number with God”. He added: “Twenty-one years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection.
It appears that God gave America 21 years to repent of interfering with His prophetic plan for Israel; however, it has gotten worse under all the presidents and especially Obama. Obama is 100 percent behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destroy Israel and take Jerusalem. Both candidates are pro-homosexual and are behind the homosexual agenda. America is under political judgement and the church does not know it!”
Of course, there are others. Rick Joyner said that Hurricane Katrina was showing that “[God]’s not gonna put up with perversion anymore,” and Pat Robertson has long stated that any acceptance of homosexuality will result in hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombs, and “possibly a meteor.”
So there you have it. Hurricanes are sent by God because he’s a nasty, ruthless, unforgiving arse of a Thing that prefers to kill humans through spite rather than spread the word of compassion and forgiveness, all over people’s choice of orifice.
What a dick.
Judiann Parker watches the rough surf of the Atlantic Ocean from a partially boarded-up window early Monday, Oct. 29, 2012, in Cape May, N.J., as high tide and Hurricane Sandy begin to arrive. With Sandy poised to make a direct hit on New Jersey, Gov. Chris Christie has issued a typically blunt warning to those thinking of riding it out in low-lying coastal areas: "Don't be stupid. Get out." The storm was still hundreds of miles away, but was already making its approach known to New Jersey on Sunday with high winds, rough surf and coastal flooding as thousands of people fled to what they hoped would be safer ground. (AP Photo/Mel Evans)