Nadine Dorries, wave goodbye to your career!
POLITICIANS, as we all know, as thundering bozos. They don’t know their arses from their elbows and they prove it time and time again by their wilfully idiotic actions. And Nadine Dorries, a particularly loathsome oaf, has proved how dim MPs are once again, by agreeing to go on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!
However, we should all rejoice in this. While you may think she’s neglecting her ward, using taxpayer’s money in a bid to become famous and worse still, invade our homes with her gaspingly awful personality, you’re missing the point.
See, Dorries is about to vanish into obscurity and her political career is about to collapse in a heap.
How do we know this? Well, look at which MPs went into Reality TV before her! Lembit Opik went into the jungle, got bitten by a snake and became such an unpopular MP that he had to settle for a life trying out stand-up comedy and appearing on television with his bloody harmonica.
Ann Widdecombe appeared on Strictly Come Dancing and, save an utterly awful gameshow, she’s all but waddled off into the middle distance with her hymen intact. And of course, who can forget George Galloway’s stint on Celebrity Big Brother? He mocked a recovering alcoholic, lapped pretend milk from Dennis Waterman’s ex-wife’s hand in one of the most disturbingly anti-erotic events ever and then, tried his hand at being ‘out-spoken’ before farting his profile into a hedge.
Edwina Currie has also appeared on Strictly Come Dancing, and as we all know, she’s a laughing stock. AND she’s admitted to having sex with John Major’s grey, fallow member, which is somehow much worse than the time Brian Paddick swallowed a camel “penis colada” on I’m A Celebrity.
With that, Nadine Dorries is now stood on the lip of no-markery, which obviously, is worth every single penny the taxpayer throws at her while she forces tarantula anus into her heaving gob.