£200 to get slapped about for 15 minutes? We have just the thing! A Tata Massage
HUMANS are a woefully repressed bunch. They get tired of fitting-in and, eventually, turn into outrageous secret ne’er-do-wells who want a bit of pain. Those doing it properly end up getting humiliated in a dungeon by a woman dressed in PVC, but for those not as brave, we’ve got a handy excuse for you.
Over in San Franciso, a beautician is doing covert S&M in the name of beautifying that stupid face of yours. She’s offering ‘Tata Massage’ which, in plain English, is getting slapped stupid for a bit, in exchange for money.
*sideways glance to camera*
Thai natural health practitioner Rassameesaitarn Wongsirodkul (aka Tata), charges £220 for a 15-minute session where she slaps and pinches a customer’s face. While her husband watches on. Of course, there’s nothing sexual about this (cough) and she’s claiming that it is a natural alternative to botox treatment.
Mawan told The AP: “It firms the face and lessens the wrinkles. It also slims the face and makes the pores smaller.”
Naturally, there is absolutely zero in the way of medical evidence which supports the notion that getting slapped by a woman repeatedly does any good for your face, aside from the fact that you could have ruddy cheeks, brief swelling and vague concussion. Further to this, Tata plans to return to Thailand next year, where she’ll learn the fine art of ‘butt pinching’.
Alternatively, you could just walk around Newcastle in a Sunderland shirt and get much the same thing for free.