Man finds out olive oil-based DIY penis enlargement isn’t a good idea
SOME people don’t think they need to seek professional help for professional needs? Want a lean-to? Do it yourself! Want a tooth out? Get the string and a firm hand to slam a door! Want a penis enlargement? Grab the olive oil!
This is exactly what some thundering berk from Bangkok (stop sniggering at the back of class) has done and of course, he’s suffered the consequences wholeheartedly.
The Thai man wanted a bigger wang, and so, managed to get a load of cooking oil into his member and of course, it all went awry and got infected. He reckons that everything was working fine until 6 months ago (presumably ‘fine’ means ‘firing great yellow arcs of oil out of his chap, thereby rendering all suitors into little more croutons with dressing), but it wasn’t to last.
Give the phrase ‘tossing salad’ a whole new meaning.
A wound on his doodah (where he injected the oil) became infected, and of course, things have gotten so bad that doctors had to remove it.
“He was ashamed to visit a doctor, but the pain and the infection grew so he had no choice,” Police General Hospital doctor Surat Kittisup-porn told reporters. A spokeswoman for the hospital, Sirikul Jiaranaikhajorn, said of the olive oil procedure:
“It only brings bad results – people misunderstand [that it works]. A woman will love a man not because of the size.”
Of course, he’s not the first person to undergo a DIY vanity treatment with olive oil. One lady tried to give herself a facelift by injecting the condiment into her head and she ended up looking like a burnt bag of hams. See for yourself.
So, the lesson here is that you should inject yourself with olive oil… but really, you all knew that didn’t you?