Randy woman gets nicked for “violating the peace of the dead”
YOU know what it’s like. You’ve got the horn, but no-one to have it away with. You’re tired of dry humping the sofa cushions and there’s no way you’d make love to yourself because you’ve seen what you look like naked.
No. There must be another way.
Well, one lady in Sweden found just the thing. She went and had sex with a skeleton. Obviously, the skeleton didn’t complain, but that’s because ‘skeleton’ is a nice word for ‘rotted cadaver’.
As such, the 37-year-old woman is being tried for necrophilia and “violating the peace of the dead”, which is one of the best phrases used in 2012. And it seems this lady has previous, what with the police finding 100 skeleton bones at her house.
The prosecutor in the case told the press that a couple of CDs with documents and pictures were also discovered.
“Some of the photos show a woman licking a skull,” she said. “We claim it’s her, but she claims it’s someone else and that she found the pictures on the internet. She has a lot of photos of morgues and chapels, and documents about how to have sex with recently deceased and otherwise dead people.”
She also thinks Sixth Sense is an erotic thriller. No-one tell her differently or she’ll ride your ancestors into next week.