Say hello to the Bigfoot of Tunbridge Wells
BORING places are always the ones who have fantastical creatures. There’s no Chupacabra of Camden or Mothra of Manchester, because people are far, far too busy to sit around and let their minds play tricks on them. However, in Dullsville, there’s a whole universe of weird creatures!
Remember the Beast of Bodmin? You’ve heard of Nessie? Well, the residents of Royal Tunbridge Wells – who have nothing better to do – claim they have a giant ape-like sasquatch terrorising their countryside.
This 8ft creature is said to have glowing red demonic eyes, giant arms and was definitely spotted by a walker in the woods near to the town’s common. The walker ran away after this Tunbridge terror roared at him.
And this is just one sighting of a dozen in the last six months (although, some locals think it might be someone having a laugh in fancy dress, clearly so bored in Tunbridge Wells that they’ve got nothing better to do than run around the countryside pretending to be a monster).
The Kentish Apeman was first seen on the 200-acre common 70 years ago during WWII, and an elderly couple (also bored) famously claimed to have seen it in 1942. Local correspondence chronicles: “They were sitting on a bench when they became aware of a shuffling noise behind them. Upon turning around they saw a tall, ape-like creature with eyes that were burning red moving slowly towards them. They both fled — terrified.”
In addition to this, livestock in the area have been found hacked up and slain and a large cat skull was found in the area in 1995.
Boredom. It’s a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Photo: Rant Mullens, 86, shows off one of several pair of wooden feet he has whittled since 1928, April 12, 1982, Vancouver, Wa. Mullens says the feet have figured in Bigfoot foot print sightings in the Northwest. Date: 11/04/1982