Golden Eagle snatches child
First, we had badgers making our roads collapse, then we had tiny horses using our public transport, then we had catfish dragging mammals to their death, monkeys being breastfed by humans and now, Golden Eagles are trying to snatch our young and pick their eyes out with their horrible beaks.
You heard. We’re all doomed.
And the video shows a gigantic feathered beast swooping down on a golf course (listen, if we’re all going to die, you can’t fault the animal kingdom for picking on golfers) looking all majestic, before attacking a child.
Obviously, you can’t blame animals for going after children. They smell of poo, develop waxy columns of junk on their top lips and if anyone is going to bang the glass at a zoo, it is kids.
The eagle flies silently, razor sharp talons at the ready and tries to make off with the toddler, presumably to tear it to pieces and feed on human brains, but alas, the kid is too tubby and the eagle drops him before making a getaway. The man, filming the whole incident, says a delightful ‘oh shit!’
THE END IS NIGH.