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Anorak | George Monbiot is The Day Today’s roving reporter

George Monbiot is The Day Today’s roving reporter

by | 31st, December 2012

GEORGE Monbiot is doing his bit to bring back the comedy o f The Day Today . He’s visited an A&E centre:

My bike slipped from under me and I rolled on to the pavement. I thought at first I was unharmed, but when I pulled myself up I found my left foot could not support my weight. I phoned a taxi. The accident and emergency department was almost deserted. It was evening, but not late enough for the broken drunks or the seasonal fight victims – goodwill to all men unless they’re looking at my bird – to start arriving…

Only one person was sitting there. There were no magazines I wanted to read, so I parked myself two spaces from him in the hope of starting a conversation. He had a number one haircut and tattoos on his neck and knuckles. His hands and face were filthy. He wore a stripey fleece jacket, like the one I once owned, until I lost it. His was thick with grease and soot, and pitted with cigarette burns.

“What are you in for?”, I asked. He held up a finger, suppurating, black and yellow, missing its nail. “Blimey. How did that happen?”

“Pig slammed it in his car door.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a fucking pig.”

“What had you done?”

“Nothing. Fuckers were moving us on.”

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