Why did Katie Price marry a plasterer?
WHY did Katie Price marry a plasterer? Well, have you seen her make-up? So goes the joke about Katie’s latest marriage, this one to part-time stripper and housing erector Kieran ‘Loud’ Hayler. The Sun leads with the news, summing up Katie’s marriage and career in two paragraphs:
KATIE Price has secretly married hubby No3 — and our exclusive picture from the ceremony shows one of her famous boobs making an escape. The 34-year-old model wed Kieran Hayler, 25, on a sun-kissed Bahamas beach and has revealed how she did so on the advice of a PSYCHIC.
Katie is, of couse, cosmic. She once told us:
“You know some people have an aura or energy that interferes with electricity? Well I definitely do. Film cameras don’t work properly. Laptops play up. It’s weird.”
We had supposed that static storm to be the result of nylon thread in breast and hair playing havoc with the silicon chips (in the lap-top, not Katie). But Katie’s life is writ large in the stars and the light:
“A medium said the man I’d marry was called Kevin. Kieran’s name is close to Kevin and it all became clear.”
That’s the kind of skewwhiff thinking that has led to Katie’s third marriage.
>Meanwhile, in deepest Essex, a million Kevin’s breathe a sigh, put down the Anusol bleach and wonder what might have been…