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Anorak | Idiots vote for cat’s inclusion in Monopoly

Idiots vote for cat’s inclusion in Monopoly

by | 7th, February 2013

YOU can make a good judgement on a human by viewing which piece they decide to play with in Monopoly. Basically, the rule is this: If they choose the dog, they’re an idiot.

This may seem harsh, but think about it. The car has a lovely art-deco quality and implies speed and fun, while the boot is reminiscent of a cartoon hobo’s boot, implying a wistful, rambling freedom. The top hat is a satisfying piece to hold and has a Lord Snooty quality, and anyone who doesn’t like the Beano should be slapped senseless. The ship is also filled with romance and a promise of adventure and maybe decadent dinner parties on deck, before the vessel perishes at the whim of an iceberg.

The dog, meanwhile, represents nauseating sentimentality, obedience and a love of things that you can blame a fart on.

However, it gets worse. Monopoly makers, Hasbro, have decided to shake things up and have a vote, introducing a number of new pieces the most important being a robot, a helicopter and a cat.

Opening up the vote to the general public (a mistake), 250,000 voted on the popularity of pieces. Irritatingly, 31% of the total vote saw the introduction of a stupid cat. Not an exciting robot. Not a thrilling chopper. Not even the plaintive, roving guitar.

A stupid cat.

This was clearly voted in by the awful arseholes who take endless photographs of their tedious felines and share them with

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Posted: 7th, February 2013 | In: News, The Consumer Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink