Crufts to feature disgusting mongrels
CRUFTS, like Hitler, always believed in pure breeds, showcasing the finest in incestuous hound relationships and making them scampered around before an audience that smelled of Brut, hairspray and wax-jackets. Judges in comfortable loafers would stand these poor inbreds on tables and poke around at their genitals to see if they were uniform enough.
That’s all about to change though as Crufts is going to feature mongrels and crossbreed dogs for the first time!
Of course, this is good news as this means you won’t have an army of pooches, bred unhealthily, all going blind and their hearts giving up because of a gene pool so small, a chihuahua couldn’t paddle in it.
And so, The Kennel Club (they organise Crufts) decided to do something about it, a whole five years after they were at the centre of a controversy when a BBC documentary showed that owners were breeding dogs for their looks, and sod their health, which saw the Dogs Trust and RSPCA pulling out of the show and the BBC stopping its coverage after nearly half a century of broadcasts.
A spokesman said:
“The judges look to different things – they will speak to the owners, hear their stories, hear where they come from and have a good play. There is no standard for them to match to.”
‘A good play’. Brrrr.
Clarissa Baldwin, head of the Dogs Trust, said: ”
I think it’s a brave move. It has to be good, showing people that you don’t have to be pedigree to be at Crufts.”
Sod your pedigree, chum.
Photo: Elizabeth, a Lhasa Apso, winner of the Best in Show title, with owner Margaret Anderson, at Crufts 2012 held at the NEC, Birmingham.