Man exposing himself was varnishing fence in Cumbria
WE at Anorak love an unexpected reason for an apparently sexualy-driven offence. Remember the poor sod who in a bid to salve his constipation got a bottle stuck up his anus? There was this vicar who fell backwards on to his kitchen table while hanging curtains and im paled himself on a raw potato. There was the woman who fell on a can of hairspray. This poor sod got a fence up his bum? Now meet Michael Clarke, 76, who tells Furness Magistrates’ Court having previously admitted a charge of indecent exposure.
His brief explains what occurred on December 16, 2012:
“He said it was dark and after having a shower, he went out to varnish patches of the gate he had started that morning.”
Send the man down. Mr Clarke is sentenced to five years of supervision, has to sign the sex offenders’ register and is issued with a sexual offences prevention order for five years, stipulating that he is now “prohibited from being naked in any part of his property where he could be seen by the public and that he was not to appear in a public place naked or wearing less than one garment of clothing apart from during a medical examination.”
What odds Mr Clarke will be spotted out in his socks. All three of them..?