Scientists disprove ‘beer goggles’, which means you must like kissing ugly people
BEER has been helping ugly people to get laid for years, according to the novelty t-shirt, which may be true, only in that it can lower people’s inhibitions. However, for those of you who have been blaming sex with mingers on beer making people seem more attractive, there’s bad news.
Science has gone and proved what we all knew – you’re a liar.
Research is now showing that ‘beer goggles’ are a complete myth and that alcohol doesn’t actually make a blind bit of difference to the way we look at people. The bit of our brain which controls sexual urges is unaffected by drink. The only way booze can affect your ability to judge someone’s fitness is if you pass-out completely.
“We still see others basically as they are,” said Dr Amanda Ellison, who conducted the study. “There is no imagined physical transformation – just more desire. Hangovers are caused by dehydration: the brain shrinks and tugs on the meninges.”
Hur-hur. That looks like ‘minges’. Sorry.
“But before that, alcohol switches off the rational and decision-making areas of the brain while leaving the areas to do with sexual desire relatively intact.”
So, this week, if people chide you for having sex with someone they deam ugly, don’t blame it on beer. Straighten yourself up, take responsibility for you actions and they sock your sneering mate in the mouth for being a judgemental prick.
Beer helps you fight.