Anorak | Hot for Teacher essay writer sues school that expelled him for $2.2m

Hot for Teacher essay writer sues school that expelled him for $2.2m

by | 17th, March 2013

Joseph Corlett copy

JOSEPH Corlett, 57, was booted out of Oakland University, Detroit, for writing the essay Hot For Teacher. He was inspired by the Van Halen song of that name. He’s now suing. He wants $2.2 million. Corlett, who now lives in Florida, has filed a lawsuit with the U.S. District Court in Detroit.

Corlett was taking the class English 380: Advanced Critical Writing. His teacher was Pamela Mitzelfeld ( photos ).

He wrote:

She is short, height/weight proportionate and brunette like my wife of thirty (30) years and introduces herself to spanish class as Argentinian/Italian. Omygod. Latin and Italian? Are you kidding me? Holy shit I should drop right now, there is no way I’ll concentrate in class especially with that sexy little mole on her upper lip beckoning with every accented word. And that smile.

No, I’ve never dropped a class yet, even Computer Aided Design where I earned my first “C” since resuming my college education in 2008. I’ll tough it out.
It’s tough to be a guy. I remember when riding my bike was suddenly pointless as all I thought about were girls. No money, no car, no social skills, and a face full of blemishes and all I want is a girl. My face cleared, I get a job a car and a girl eventually, but it was rough in between. Ladies, for pure sexual stamina, you’ll do no better than a fifteen-year-old male, but check your local age of consent laws before engagement. It sucks to admit but…

From age twelve to thirty the male brain is clogged by sex. It’s a wonder we can think at all. About [struck: a decade ago] twenty years ago, I’ll be 56 in November of 2011, the fog began to lift. It was refreshing to have some spare in my brain to think about thoughts other than sex. Like dropping from a hundred time a dat to just 20. What a relief, but you don’t get wood at the titty bars anymore. Small tradeoff.

I can’t believe I just wrote that but I did and it’s staying. I don’t give a fuck. It is what it is. I WILL NOT TEAR THIS PAGE.

My first battle with the hot for teacher thing, aside from second grade, was fought in Composition I at Oakland Community College. She was blonde and attractive in the Meg Ryan kind of way which I usually don’t go for. (Fucking preposition at the end of that sentence, Fuck it) FOR WHICH I DO NOT GO? YEAH, RIGHT.

I shouldn’t have taken her for Comp 2 but I couldn’t resist smart and pretty. I aced in both but that only encouraged me. Her skirt came unzipped in Comp 2 one day and her polka-dotted panties were exposed. I was a perfect gentleman and discretely told her to pull her sweater over. She smiled and thanked me. It is our delicious little secret.
(Intro transition here).

Then there’s Ms. Mitzelfeld, English 380. She walks in and I say to myself “Drop, motherfucker, drop.” Kee-rist, I’ll never learn a thing. Tall, blond, stacked, skirt, heels, fingernails, smart, articulate, smile. I’m toast but I stay, I’ll fuck up my whole Tuesday-Thursday class thing if I drop. I’ll search for something unattractive about her. No luck yet. Shit.
I’m in the

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Posted: 17th, March 2013 | In: News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink