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Anorak | Soft Paris lingerie aims to destroy British feminism and crap on your lawn

Soft Paris lingerie aims to destroy British feminism and crap on your lawn

by | 1st, April 2013

soft paris

SOFT Paris is a French knickers and undies company (that’s lingerie ed) aiming to teach the clueless, potato-sack-clad British woman how to dress for sex. To promote the brand, the company has issued its 10 steps to seduction. Most British men would be happy with availability and warmth. But we can all be more. Says Soft Paris:

Why do English women hunch over, either shuffling or stomping? This is not seductive. Take the time to look around you, proudly, chin up/shoulders back, walking with one foot almost in front of the other, to undulate your hips provocatively.

In short: wear a heavy backpack at all times.

But the best bit is this one:

Don’t be a slobbery, noisy, bounding English bulldog. Imagine you’re an elegant cat – light, agile, graceful, quiet. Seduction is about understanding the effects of your movements and using them to your advantage.

Be like a cat. Shit on your neighbours lawn, murder small animals

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Posted: 1st, April 2013 | In: Fashion Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink