Your dead gran, recycled into road signs
PEOPLE who say old-folks are useless clearly are idiots aren’t they? For a start, old people are the main source of institutionalised racism and without pensioners, the makers of fig rolls would go out of business overnight. Pensioners are so useful that they even help us all when they’re dead.
The steel hips, plates and screws from legs and skulls can be collected after they’re cremated and the metal is sent off for recycling, used by automobile and aeronautical industries.
How terrific is that?
The cobalt and titanium, found in some implants and dental work help to make aircraft engines, road signs and motorway barriers. Next time you see a dog having a widdle on a lamp-post, it could be marking its territory on your granddad’s fillings!
The Dutch company behind this brilliant recycling idea reckons that nearly half of Britain’s crematoriums have signed up to the scheme, and they’re generating a whopping 75 tonnes of metal a year.
A spokesperson for a crematorium in Haycombe said: “We subscribe to a not-for-profit recycling scheme for all metals recovered from the cremation process. Applicants may opt to retain the metals but they must take them away and they cannot be returned afterwards.”
The project has already raised £100 million for charity too, which is marvellous work. What a tremendous legacy our oldsters have left us with!