Cristiano Ronaldo’s ‘romp’ with the runner up in a beauty contest
REAL Madrid’s winker Cristiano Ronaldo is alleged to have cheated on his girlfriend with Andressa Urach, a Brazilian model nicknamed ‘Miss BumBum’. She claims to have shagged the Portguuese winger two days before Real were thrashed 4-1 by Borussia Dortmund in the Champions League semi-final. She says:
“I have always thought Cristiano is one of the most gorgeous men in the world, so I couldn’t believe it when he got in touch with me.”
But the Sun can, leading with “Cheating Ronaldo romps with Miss Bum Bum”.
The reams of unreported kiss ‘n’ tells sat on Lord Leveson’s tabloid spike means the Sun is forced to seek football-themes sex stories in foreign climes. Can a story of a Brazilian and a Portuguese footballer who plays in Spain captivate the Sun’s domestic market? The Sun hopes so. It’s already written two articles on Miss BumBum, telling readers:
January 25 2013:
MISS Bumbum 2012 showed New Yorkers a cracking time yesterday – as she bared her bottom in sub-zero temperatures of -12°C. Curvy Carine Felizardo stripped down in Times Square to flaunt her award-winning posterior in a skimpy two-piece bikini. Stunned bystanders were clad in scarves, gloves and woolly hats amid polar conditions and bone-chilling winds.
So. Urach is not Miss BumBum. She came second place in a beauty contest. Take £10. Do not pass ‘Go’. Ronaldo’s Real Madrid are second place to Barcelona in the Spanish football league. The Sun’s scoop is in every sense a second-rate sex story.
What says Urach, the woman billed in the Mail as “the Brazilian model who won the title Miss BumBum”?
“He said he was very excited by my pictures online and one of the first things he asked me was if I really was a Miss Butt Brazil model.”
The Sun then paints a picture. The Daily Mail paraphrases it, saying the alleged affair occurred “a day after the player was pictured leaving a restaurant in Madrid with his girlfriend Irina Shayk. Miss Shayt, 27, had her arms crossed and wore a downcast face.”
Shamed she was no doubt by her lack of titles. Sure, Irina’s a model, but has she ever be crowned Miss Bum Bum? No. You can imagine Ronaldo showing Irina photos of Urach exiting restaurants backwards, keeping a constant gaze on her lover’s face as the paparazzi snap away at her buttocks (literally).