Pippa Middleton launches PXM Enterprises to a fanfare of vapidity
She plans parties, writes columns, goes to weddings, dates bankers and is the sister of our future Queen. But as Pippa Middleton nears her 30th birthday, nobody quite knows what path her career will take.
Is dating a banker a job? What about being a sibling? Being a wedding guest? Are they jobs?
If the Times wanted to present Pippa as a pampered, vapid extra to the main event it’s nailed it. Should Pippa shuffle of this mortal coil this afternoon, we’d image the paper’s obituary writers padding out their tribute by mentioning her selfless dedication to breathing through her nose in the First Class cabin, the ability to find her own arse with her own hands on pretty much any beach and her ability to watch tennis by the hour without yawning. (Prices on application.)
PS – We can exclusively reveal that the ‘X’ in PXM stands for Pippa’s new career in porn, her role in the Nation of Islam and a full-time job locating treasure.