Cambridge student too ugly to punt
THE Oxbridge universities don’t make it easy for people to like them do they? It is all ties and crests, hazing and fags, bizarre rituals and elitism and worst of all, posh folk in red trousers.
To add to this, they’re also terrifyingly vain as one Cambridge student has claimed that he was turned down for a river punting job because he was “too ugly”.
River punting is not a dirty euphemism.
Psychology student Ben Cronin said he was shocked when staff said he needed to be more attractive to work on the River Cam boats. He wanted to punt along the river for his summer job after completing his first year at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge.
Sadly for Ben, he was rejected because of his face.
“I was with a couple of friends and we decided to go and speak to one of the punting companies to see if we could get work for the coming season,” Cronin said. “I went to speak to the man running the boats, but when I asked about a job, he looked me up and down and laughed, saying, ‘Sorry mate, you have to be good looking to do this job’.”
“I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I felt so humiliated. This guy was tall, dark and good-looking. I’ve been punting a few times and am sure that I could do the job. I don’t see what the way I look has to do with getting the job.”
“The way he spoke to me has put me off wanting to punt on the river ever again. It was so embarrassing. It’s had a huge effect on my self-esteem.”
Of course, it goes without saying that the punting company has denied the claims made by the student. Rod Ingersent, GM of the punting company Scudamore’s, said: “The alleged comment is not something we endorse, as we recruit purely on the basis of work criteria and individual merit.”
So it might be the case that Ben isn’t ugly, rather, he looks preposterously slovenly. Oh well, if he can afford to go to Cambridge, he probably doesn’t need a summer job anyway.