The soaraway Sun put Tulisa Contostavlos back in the gutter where she belongs
SO. Now we know. The Sun’s Fake Sheik lured Tulisa Contostavlos into a false sense of security by telling her he had lined up a Bollywood deal worth £8m. The hoaxers didn’t just hire a suite at the Grosvenor House Hotel on Park Lane. The Sunday People says they flew her “around the world by private jet during two months of negotiation”.
What looked like a sting that caught Tulisa off guard and thumb a nose at the drugs trade – it’s alleged she facilitated a cocaine deal – turns out to be an elaborate plot to cut a successful young woman down to size. To recap: Tulisa did not take drugs. She is alleged to have just helped a fake Bollywood executive get some at their request.
This swiftly led to the arrest of Tulisa and a bloke called Mike GLC.
Marina Hyde writes:
As for the World! Exclusive! Shock! of Tulisa having a number for someone who could get them drugs, it seems almost too obvious to marvel at the sheltered lives tabloid journalists lead. These existences see them shocked into a fit of the vapours by the old “celebrity takes drugs” story, which felt knackered in 1998 and is currently kept alive only by hacks with no imagination, a parodic number of whom are currently on police bail themselves…
they didn’t even goad Tulisa into taking any drugs – she is only accused of helping the reporter get some as opposed to indulging herself, which must mark her out as something of a rarity in entertainment circles, and very possibly in 24-year-old circles up and down the land.
Indeed, for the sake of their nerves, I do hope none of these crack investigative reporters ever venture into a lively urban pub on a Saturday night, or indeed into the sort of bucolic watering hole in which Prince Harry was once exposed as buying his party treats of a weekend…
Prince Harry, of course, did not have his career ruined, while Tulisa is said to be in bits and declaring her life to be over…
What that headline does do, of course, is remind us that it was Tulisa’s own X Factor judging colleague Louis Walsh who first branded her a “chav in a tracksuit”. Dear Louis – always so pitiably aware of his need to create inter-judge “conflict”, lest Simon Cowell chuck him on the scrapheap like he did once before. This week, his baton was taken up by returning judge Sharon Osbourne – a woman who has monetised the drug-addled eccentricities of her husband beyond even her own wildest dreams, yet apparently declared pointedly of Tulisa’s arrest: “I loved it.”
I see Sharon’s spokesperson has since hastily claimed that Sharon was in fact responding to a different question when she uttered these words; the film of the encounter can be viewed here, so do be the judge.
Of course, Sharon isn’t the only star who has appeared weirdly keen to define themselves against Tulisa. Think of Kelly Brook joshing about watching Tulisa’s sex tape “several times” as research for some film role. Or indeed of sisterly Amanda Holden, who apparently saw no inconsistency in disliking her private phone messages being hacked, and going on a chatshow to snigger that she’d watched the tape (apparently Amanda’s fellow Britain’s Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon mailed the link), and that it was definitely Tulisa.
Ah well. Thank heavens so many man hours have been dedicated to the absolutely essential public-service task of putting a jumped-up little thing like Tulisa back in her place. The natural order of things has been restored, and we may expect the first “back where she belongs” headlines by midsummer.
Why did the Sun have it in for Tulisa? Hasn’t a young woman who endured a leaked sex tape and being shackled to that NDubz Scrappy Do Dappy suffered enough?