Girl Guides are now all Godless maniacs
IF you were a Brownie, Cub, Scout or Girl Guide, you will know that God and Jesus loomed large in proceedings. Not to mention those horrible badges for sewing and surviving the ordeal of camping with flatulent peers in some windswept hole.
That’s all about to change. There’ll still be crafts and activities, however, God has been asked to leave the Girl Guides as they no longer have to swear allegiance to It. Now, Girl Guides will say: “I promise to be true to myself”, like they’re singing a mid-90s R&B ballad.
Of course, this is a good thing because it means everyone can be included, but there’ll be some folks who are beyond irritated at this news. Afterall, the Guides have been giving fistbumps to God since 1910. Andrea Minichiello Williams of Christian Concern – a recovering Brownie – said: “This is a sad day. It runs against the tradition and history of the Guide movement, which was rooted in Christian values.”
However, the Guides and Scouts have seen their Christian involvement get them in trouble. Pop singer, Carly Rae Jepsen, cancelled a big show with the Scouts after they announced a ban on gay Scout leaders. Even the Daily Mail managed to have a small hissy fit when the Guides hired Julia Bentley as their chief exec. The outcry was solely based on the fact that she used to be the head of an abortion and contraception group.
Bentley said, when appointed, that Guiding “is not about itchy brown uniforms and sewing and baking. It is a modern, contemporary, vibrant organisation. Guides are more likely to be investigating a muddy ravine, going overseas to help on an Aids programme, or going to one of our pop concerts.”
So there you have it. God has been asked to hand his woggle in. There’s no place for religion in the Guides anymore.
Photo: Lady Baden Powell inspects the guard of honour of Girl Guides at Battersea Park. Date: 01/06/1916