Toddlers are more stupid than chickens – birds outperform kids in numeracy and logic
YOU’VE cooed and coochied at your darling little baby, posting endless identical photographs of them on Facebook and heard your friends tell you barefaced lies about how beautiful it is, and that it has it’s ‘daddy’s eyes’… but here’s some news for you and your little shit-machine – chickens could well be smarter than your human toddler.
A survey was conducted and found that chickens have the ability to out-perform young children at numeracy and logic.
Apparently, a chicken’s ability with numbers appears almost as soon as it is hatched out of the egg, and unlike humans, they do not need to be taught to count.
While they are a few hours old, chiks can tell the difference between different figures and can also keep track of numbers up to five. Human babies meanwhile, just generate furious amount of faecal matter and vomit if you even think about rubbing their backs.
Not only that, chickens can also keep track of objects and individuals that fall out of their sight while human babies can’t even stand-up or eat sausages.
Christine Nicol, Professor of Animal Welfare at the University of Bristol, co-wrote the review and said: “Chickens may not be about to make a significant mathematical, scientific or literary contribution to the world, but the study shows that chickens have the capacity to master skills and develop abilities that a human child can take months and years to accomplish.”
In the defence of chickens, it is incredibly unlikely that your children are going to make any significant mark on the world beyond using up our scant fossil fuels and creating so much rubbish that it’ll probably envelope the countryside.
Maybe we should start eating baby fillets and make Toddler McNuggets?