Plague of drunk seagulls follow plague of flying ants in Devon – locals fret over first born
IT’S OK. Do not panic. We’ve found out why the seagulls are attacking people in Devon. They are drunk on a plague of flying ants.
Locusts, blood, lice and and the frogs are yet to arrive.
Meanwhile, science tells us that the ants are rich in formic acid in their stomachs. The gulls feast on them and lose their inhibitions. Reports tell us that gulls have been seen flying straight into buildings and into the paths of moving cars.
Dr Rebecca Nesbit, an entomologist with the Society of Biology, tells us:
“That isn’t so good for the birds – it leaves them a bit drunk.”
Local man Viv Gregory has seen thigns in Ilfracombe:
“As I started driving up the hill, the seagulls were all over the place, pecking in the road. I’ve never seen it before. They’re in the road and they just don’t want to move.”
Ruddy foreigners. Come down her in the summer months. Snarl up the roads. Get drunk. Eat our flying insects…