Monty Panesar: Bothers women and urinates on bouncers
CRICKETERS are nice aren’t they? Not like those awful footballers with their grotesque wealth, dreadful taste in cars and super-injunctions. They play sports in their sweaters and take breaks for cups of tea and polite applause.
Cricketers are the masters of deception, sledging opponents at the crease, turning up rat-arsed at Downing Street and, in the case of Monty Panesar, urinating on bouncers at a nightclub.
That’s right. The left arm spinner has been fined by police after taking a whizz on bouncers who had thrown him out of a club in Brighton in the early hours of Monday morning.
Panesar was apparently asked to leave Shooshh after a group of ladies complained that he was bothering them. Panesar got himself together, walked up to the promenade above the club and decided to piss all over the bouncers. Then, Panesar legged it… however, the doorstaff caught up with him in a pizza shop, ‘restrained’ him and dragged him back to the club before calling the police.
Panesar was fined £90 and, through his spokesman, released a statement offering an “unreserved apology” for his behaviour.
A Sussex Police spokesman said: “A 31-year-old man received a fixed penalty notice for being drunk and disorderly after being seen urinating in public near the Shooshh Club in King’s Road Arches, Brighton, around 4.13am on Monday.”
All this, while he was in the squad for The Ashes.
Bothering women, urinating on other humans, being leathered on booze at four in the morning and getting arrested? Cricket – the new badboy sport.