Gay whales need not flee Putin’s Russia: Kim Basinger has a plan
NO panic, whales, Kim Basinger is here to help. In a letter addressed to Russian’s topless stunna and homophobe Vladimir Putin, the actress writes via Peta:
“I was thrilled to learn that the 18 beluga whales who were slated to be transported from the Utrish Marine Mammal Research Station to a U.S. aquarium will remain in Russia and out of my home state of Georgia.
“The whales would have had a bleak life if they had been shipped to Georgia for public display… As an ardent supporter of marine life, I commend you for your efforts to preserve this magnificent species. Now that these whales will not be transferred to the U.S., I urge you to take the next step and ensure that they are returned to their rightful ocean home…
“The plight of these whales has the whole world watching to see what will happen next. I urge you to help return these belugas to their families in the ocean. Will you take a strong unequivocal stand in favor of marine animals by initiating the rehabilitation-and-release process?”
Vlad might sense a Peta-laid trap. Esquire has few words on whales:
Sometimes one male swims underwater and rubs the other whale’s three-foot long penis with his beak. They swim in this position, dive into the water intertwined, then typically repeat the act with the positions reversed. Perhaps the world’s most considerate animal, 90 percent of Orcas’ homosexual encounters are reciprocal.
Gay whales. Can Vlad, who loves the whales but hates the gays, spot these gay whales before they infect the rest of the stock? Maybe gay whales will congregate elsewhere:
Our whale-watching guide, Carlos from Ecotours, informs us that nearly 400 humpbacks migrate here between November and April, mating and giving birth in alternate years. In the breeding season, males sing whale songs as part of their mating ritual. Carlos confides, without a hint of embarrassment, that a third of the whale songs attract other males. Gay whales? Yep!
You see. Peta has not once more simply recruited another dumb animal to highlight the burning issues of the moment – “the whole world is watching”. It’s part of a drive to speak up for the gays and shame Putin into placing humanity on a even footing with whales…