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Anorak | Halloween: too much, too soon for our sexy pumpkin fed toddlers

Halloween: too much, too soon for our sexy pumpkin fed toddlers

by | 26th, September 2013

lil-terrorist

I DON’T know how British people celebrate Halloween—with understated elegance and a solemn appreciation for tradition , no doubt—but future archaeologists will conclude American Halloween was a giant fertility festival, which is why everybody wears the skimpiest costumes they can even though, in most of North America, the last night of October is waaaaay too cold for that.

Discount retailer Walmart is even selling what it calls “naughty” costumes for toddlers this year. In context, “naughty” obviously doesn’t mean “refuses to eat vegetables,” “dropped her bedroom slippers in the fishtank” or other age-appropriate misbehaviours; it’s synonymous with sheer, skimpy and sexually scintillating, which is fine to market to adults and various older teenagers, but three -year-olds, dude.

I don’t mean to sound like a Victorian here; it’s just that, having worked as an exotic dancer to put myself through school, I firmly believe anything profitable for me to wear at age 18 has no business appearing on a preschooler.

For less sexy costume options, the popular reality-TV show   Duck Dynasty , about a family that got rich selling duck-hunting supplies, has inspired this season’s most popular Halloween costumes . Which wouldn’t be a problem except that wearing a Duck Dynasty T-shirt is all it takes to get an American kid sent home from school as a potentially scary threat, these days.  The

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Posted: 26th, September 2013 | In: News, The Consumer Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink