Madeleine McCann stars in the least surprising tabloid headline ever

EVER since innocent child Madeleine McCann went missing, we’ve been kept up to date with the story’s key points:

The investigation: the police have not proven what crime befell her, if any. But kidnap is the favourite theory.

The facts: she went missing

The revelations: she is still missing

The court cases: Robert Murat and the parents were libelled in a torrent of media speculation.

The breaking news: missing child is missing.

So. What front-page news in the Daily Mirror?

Yep. Police are “ready to makes arrests”.

Look out for other scoops:

Fire brigade ready to squirt water!

Ambulance staff ready to help injured!

Can that headline be beaten? The Express has a go at it:

Well, maybe they will.

Madeleine McCann went missing.

Such are the facts…

Anorak