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Anorak | Chelsea: Jose Mourinho bring his signature scent to the masses

Chelsea: Jose Mourinho bring his signature scent to the masses

by | 8th, October 2013

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SMELL that? Jose Mourinho does. The Chelsea manager says he can “smell” various phases of football matches including when a goal is about to be scored. Says Jose of Chelsea’s left-it-late win over Norwich City:

“During the game I am not nervous. I have feelings. I smell things, and when that easy (open) goal was missed (by Demba Ba), I had a smell that they would score a goal. We could have won or lost it at 1-1 because we, at that moment, didn’t want a point. We are trying to be top, so we tried to win it.”

Do you, like us, detect the grassy smell of GOAL!, the signature scent of the Premier League’s top strikers? As the ball hits the net, sensors are triggered that mist the stadium in the smell of fresh-minted bank notes, warm socks and champagne. The away fans get a waft of police horse manure and train carriage toilet. So much for goal line technology and trusting your eyes. It’s the smell that decides if the ball has gone in or not.

And, then, there is Mourinho himself, a man surely in need of a signature scene. Special 1 for him is an iconic mysterious magic, layering notes of cardamom, sandlewood, hamper and overcoat on the skin. Make Special part of your morning ritual with Special 2 (toner) and Special 3 (a moisturiser and hand cream). For man and women. For kids and OAPs. For anyone who can read the usage notes and recite them like a mantra for 90 minutes on any given Saturday.

Back in the day, footballers’ fragrances were blunt, like the players’ names. The only thing Chelsea had ending in a vowel was Peter Osgood’s Ford Capri.

Who can forget, Kevin Keegan Brut 33.

“Good workout today, ‘Enry!” said Kevin to Henry Cooper… “And after a good workout … “ said Henry “… nothing beats the good smell of Brut!” said Kevin.

“Brut 33 – the deodorant with muscle!”

The Hai Karate gig always eluded Keegan. But he refused to dwell on it.

In those days male grooming was simple. No men’s fragrance. This was aftershave. A wash with cold water, a tug and pull with a soap on a rope before a manly drenching in Brut.

Compare that to Beckham For Him, which “leads with the intense freshness and sparkle of bergamot, tangy grapefruit zest and zingy cardomom”, giving over to a “virile blend of nutmeg and star anise” and “finishing down with warm sensual undertones of sandalwood, patchouli and amber”. Wearers get to live “the edgy, sexy side of David”.

Splash it all under you nose.

 



Posted: 8th, October 2013 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink