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Anorak | Animals: They’re All Thieves, Especially These Ducks, Seagulls, Sealions And Dogs

Animals: They’re All Thieves, Especially These Ducks, Seagulls, Sealions And Dogs

by | 29th, October 2013

duck

EVERYONE thinks animals are so wonderful and they’re not. They’re poo machines who think of humans as elaborate tin-openers and dung shovelers. And we’re stupid enough to believe they care for us.

When folks aren’t watching, stood atop their hind legs, animals are out making mugs of us. They crap on our rugs, bury their faeces in our gardens, sleep on our beds after rolling around in their own vomit and then die prematurely, just to make us cry.

They know what they’re doing. King Kong knew what it was up to when it stole that woman.

And now, it seems they’re getting more brazen. Thank god for the good people of the internet blowing the whistle on these dreadful things.

Take for instance, ducks. Ducks seem nice don’t they? WRONG. Ducks have started to invade shops en-masse in a bid to steal all of our popcorn.

Take a look at these harrowing scenes.

Then there’s Revenge Sealions. You may think of sealions as those happy-go-lucky, honking clappers who bristle their whiskers and have a lovely time water parks.

WRONG. They should be called Stealions. Watch this video as one cruelly robs a grown man of his oily trophy.

Then you have the famous animal burglars, the monkeys. As this video shows, monkeys steal absolutely anything and everything. They’re not bothered what they have in their hands as long as they have pinched it.

These vile beasts are clearly only ever happy when deception is involved.

Worse still are seagulls. They’ve often swiped ice-creams and chips out of the clutches of perfectly lovely holiday makers, before digesting them and squirting out the resultant produce all down our cars and faces.

Some are so brazen that they’ve started stealing crisps from shops! Some viewers might find some scenes in the next video distressing.

Then, you’ve got clever dogs who have worked out how to move our furniture around in a bid to steal our food. This is clearly because all dogs want all humans to starve to death.

This video should chill your marrow.

Naturally, so dogs aren’t so clever and… OH GOD! WHO ARE WE KIDDING! LOOK AT THIS LITTLE CUTIE’S FACE WHEN HE GETS RUMBLED FOR STEALING CAT TREATS! OHMYGOSH HE’S ADORABLE! MUMMY CAN WE GET A DOG PLEASE! AND A SEALION! AND SOME MONKEYS! AND A SEAGULL THAT LIKES DORITOS?!



Posted: 29th, October 2013 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink