Anorak | Why People Moaning About Susan Boyle And Elvis Are Stupid And Wrong

Why People Moaning About Susan Boyle And Elvis Are Stupid And Wrong

by | 31st, October 2013


PART-TIME music snobs have been tutting and sighing about the imminent Christmas single featuring both Susan Boyle and Elvis. They think Elvis represents something sanctified and Boyle, something awful. These people, clearly, have little knowledge in either and, in fact, don’t realise how this duet makes a whole load of sense.

When asked about the duet, Susan Boyle was as puzzled as anyone, saying: “To sing with Elvis, I didn’t think it would be possible… isn’t technology brilliant? Dueting with Elvis was beyond my wildest dreams and now that this is able to raise money and help children, it is simply fantastic.”

“I remember his music being played in the house growing up quite a lot and I used to love going to see some of his films,” added Boyle.

Naturally, cod-music critics will be summoning up the nausea to take a moral highground in their articles. They’ll be looking at the whole thing as cynical. They’ll be looking at the whole thing like Boyle doesn’t deserve it in some way. Crucially, they’ll be missing what kind of an artist Elvis really was.

See, Boyle is a good Christian woman who sings big ol’ songs. America loves her while Britain has largely forgotten about her. And you couldn’t blame her for ignoring what us braying arsehats think we laughed at her face before she’d even opened her mouth to sing I dreamed a dreeeam of time gone byyyy… ‘, we gave her the ridiculous nickname of ‘Subo’ (a snide take on ‘sumo’), we held her up as a sign of God’s love  and we mocked her simply for being ever since.

Likewise, Elvis went from making rock ‘n’ roll to similarly sentimental ballads, being the good ol’ god-fearing boy who forgot about all that pop racket and went directly to the sugary jugular of the heart. Elvis, like Boyle, was also mocked for being fat by critics who, apparently, Are All About The Music Maaan

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Posted: 31st, October 2013 | In: Music Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink