Arsenal And Liverpool Players Top List Of 7 Awful Premier League Haircuts
FOOTBALLERS, bless ‘em, haven’t worked out the ideal formula involving brains, fashion and money. Everyone remembers Liverpool’s white FA Cup suits and eyebrows were raised when Davey Beckham wore a sarong… and not as many remember John Barnes’ ‘bird shit jacket’ he wore as a presenter on Channel 5.
However, the worst decisions footballers make tend to involve their hair. And in the Premier League, we’ve been blessed with some players who make mystifying decisions.
Here, we look at some of the ones you may have forgotten.
The Joy Of Cesc has sported a Manga quiff for a while and before that, he had a Lego ‘do. However, there was a period when Cesc combined about 14 haircuts into one and it was magnificent. A mullet with highlights, razor sideburns with a quiffed front and… boy oh boy, if you can’t pick one hairdo, have them all.
Gazza, for the most part, had pretty ordinary footballer haircuts. He dabbled with the bleach while at Middlesboro and at Euro ’96, but obviously, his finest moment was during his time at Lazio when he inexplicably decided that he wanted to go for ‘a Mick Hucknall’.
Margas, while at West Ham, decided badge-kissing wasn’t enough, so, clearly without a mirror in the house, he dyed his hair claret and blue.
While David Beckham’s corn rows should never be forgotten, the young and the stylish of the EPL have since surpasses Goldenballs ill-advised locks. For example, the talented Raheem Sterling of Liverpool as been seen knocking about with a barnet that looks like he swiped it from Janelle Monae or Little Richard in his pomp. Raheem’s hair is admirably wayward.
Joe Cole underlines what is wrong with English football, creatively speaking. While there’s nothing wrong with him as such, it is alarming that in recent years, he’s just about the only creative thinker going forward that England have had. That’s nothing short of a crisis. Worse still, is when Cole decided to get a magenta strip in his hair, finishing off round the back in a nice curl. Another player who experimented with the bleach.
Where do you start with Djibril? He’s had more bad haircuts than Abel Xavier and also fancies himself as a house DJ. There’s no need for that. We decided to go for his quite awful spiderweb haircut, which looks like a tarantula just defecated on his scalp.
Bendtner thinks he’s the greatest. Clearly, he isn’t. These days, the Dane has left his Standard Issue Footballer Tuft in favour of a top-knot and a less-than-full beard. He’s neither committed to long hair or a full Viking beard, which is gravely disappointing.
BONUS NON-PREM ROUND
We couldn’t have a bad haircuts in football article without mentioning River Plate’s Giovanni Simeone. Just look at the disaster going on here.