The Thieving Middle-Class And The World-Wide Goats Cheese Shortage
IN times of austerity, things get tough for people… and no-one suffers more than the middle classes. Stores throughout Britain are reporting a new type of problem – middle class theft – with items like gammon, parmesan, nice coffee and perfume being swiped.
Russell Holland, of security firm Checkpoint Systems, which sponsored the study, said: “We know that due to the recession people are stealing out of need for food. But you also have a Middle England group of people who have not had a bonus or pay rise but still want to maintain their lifestyle.”
Further pain for the middle-classes is afoot too, with reports of a worldwide goat’s cheese shortage, not to mention a wine shortage too. If this carries on, we’re all set for the politest rioting in the history of mankind.
One Tesco store in Cambridge has had to put manuka honey (£20 a jar) into plastic security boxes and Marks & Spencer now puts tags on turkey crowns.
Also getting robbed are lipsticks, perfume, hair straighteners, electric toothbrushes and power tools. The upwardly mobile have gone more mad than ten spring breaks.
The report, compiled by analysts Euromonitor for Checkpoint Systems, said: “A key observation from the grocery retailers interviewed was an increase in food theft – including items such as fresh meat – owing to the weak economy.”
Time to invest in a hummus safe house and get some laser beams around your tagines.