Miley and Britney Banned From French TV
THE French are not known for being particularly prudish. Their great art is filled with tasteful nudes. They have the boobies on the beaches. Their accents make people orgasm on impact. We’ve seen Carla Bruni with no clothes on. The French, it seems, are comfortable with the human form.
Unless you’re Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears it seems, who have had their videos banned by French television.
The country’s broadcasting watchdog Conseil Superieur de l’Audiovisuel have ruled that TV channels can now only show the promotional videos for Cyrus’ Wrecking ball and Spears’ Work Bitch after a 10pm watershed. It seems boobies are one thing, it seems boobies with a strange undercurrent are another.
According to CSA the ‘Wrecking Ball’ promo (which infamously shows Cyrus licking a hammer and swinging around in the nip on a wrecking ball for a very literal representation of the song) is too sexually explicit.
Meanwhile, Work Bitch shows Our Britters in bondage dress and that portrays “a sadomachistic universe representing women in a way that risks shocking many viewers”.
Get that! A sadomasochistic universe! Which shuttle do we have to get on to visit that wonderfully exciting place? Is that where Richard Branson is going to fly Stephen Hawking and Other Celebs to? If so, please make sure you film the whole thing.
Of course, French TV should probably have a look at Miley’s ‘Adore You’ video too because, well, there’s no real polite way to say this – she has a big wank in that.
Either way, we’re all doomed to be clothed forever because, if Europe gets prudish, Britain will soon have modesty wraps over our heads so we don’t accidentally see anything that might make our genitals vibrate with glee.