A Field Guide to 1970s Men’s Sweaters
WITH so many “important things” going on the world, why spend time looking at forty year old sweaters? Simply put, the brain needs a break from the barrage of jarring images of a world on the brink. A tour of 70s men’s sweaters is exactly what the doctor ordered.
So, sit back, relax and enjoy a cornucopia of magnificent vintage sweaters. And you’re welcome.
Left: I’m not a fashion connoisseur, but I do have a general rule of thumb: Avoid sweater vests with built in belts.
Center: Add a cape and it’s almost superhero-like. Don’t for a minute think that superheroes are somehow above sweaters when they have no problem prancing around in Spandex unitards.
Right: Looks like he just stole Janis Joplin’s belongings. Poor sap. Her sweaty clothes are probably so saturated with drugs, he’ll be dead soon.
What sort of man sees an orange and brown form-fitting sweater-vest on the rack and says, “I’ll take one of these”? My mind struggles to understand, but grasps fruitlessly in the dark. The 70s male is an enigma.
The fellow on the left seems so eager and full of optimism. Ready to take on the world. If only he could realize his sweater is three sizes two small….. I don’t have the heart to tell him.
The girl and dude on the right are obviously a couple – the matching sweater vests are a dead giveaway. Yet, she’s getting mighty friendly with the mysterious stranger on the left. I detect problems ahead.
Look out, ladies, the studs have arrived. Men – keep your wives indoors, shut the shades and turn out the lights. Fathers – stand watch over your daughters; there will be time for sleep later. These ladykillers are not to be trifled with.
We interrupt this field guide for a brief commercial break from Drummond sweaters….
Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
I think it’s pretty clear which one this lady prefers. She’s really digging the leather pants with sweater + sweater tank top(?). The poor chap in plaid slacks may as well be invisible.
“Helloooo, ladies. Are you made of apples, ‘cause you look sweet as pie….”
“Hey, baby. Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night…. ”
A word to the wise: Just ignore him and don’t make eye contact.
In order to have this photograph taken, the men had to undergo a complicated medical procedure whereby all their testosterone was removed. It was simply the only way to get them in these sweaters.
I’ll end on a high note. If anyone asks you who was the coolest individual who has ever lived, I want you to point them to this picture. One look and there can be no argument. Behold….