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Anorak | I’m Glad Hayley Cropper Is Dead: She Never Once Posed In A Bikini

I’m Glad Hayley Cropper Is Dead: She Never Once Posed In A Bikini

by | 14th, January 2014

HAYLEY Cropper was dying. Hayley Cropper is not a real person. She’s the work of dramatists at Coronation Street . And she’s dead. No. She’s alive. Hang on… No, Dead. But she could return for a retrospective or Christmas special. That’s the thing with people who aren’t real, they can do things the rest of us can’t. Sherlock can be made to live in today’s London, Tony Blair can be Prime Minister and Hayley can commit suicide rather than die slowly from cancer. It’s something to do with six-month contracts and a prior booking.

The Daily Mail’s paparazzo has “The Last Picture”. But no need to rush out and buy the newspaper because it’s not real news and, in any case, Hayley death is a primetime snuff movie.

 

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But the Mirror pretends it’s real news and warns about a “copycat suicide fear”. Phil Mitchell might copy her, so too one of the Emmerdale sheep and there is always the risk that Hollyoaks’ wooden cast will toss themselves on a lit match.

Actress Julie Hesmondhalgh says it was all very upsetting: “You should have seen the carnage at the end, loads and loads of screwed up kitchen roll and empty bottles of whisky. Seeing the end of Hayley was very emotional. Seeing

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Posted: 14th, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, News, TV & Radio Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink