Adolf Hitler Died In Brazil? Yes – And This Moustache Proves It
CAN it be true? Did Adolf Hitler life to the ripe old age of 95? In Brazil. With a black wife? It’s the bit about Brazil that gives the far-fetched story a ring of might-be-true. But what about the rest of it? The Daily Express’ headline is tremendous:
The INCREDIBLE picture that ‘proves’ Adolf Hitler lived to 95 with his Brazilian lover
Curse those inverted commas round ‘proves’. If it needs a grammatical caveat, why say it’s proof? Gareth Morgan writes on:
THIS is the picture that proves Adolf Hitler did not die in his bunker and escaped to Brazil where he lived to the ripe old age of 95, a Nazi-hunting author claims.
Claims. It’s getting woollier than a St Helen’s jumble sale. But let’s stick with it.
The grainy image is said to show Hitler with his lover
The evil dictator fled to Paraguay, via Argentina, before settling in a small town in the state of Mato Grosso, Brazil, according to a shocking new book.
Well, if the book says so…
Hitler is said to have used the assumed name of Adolf Leipzig and was known to the 12,000 locals in Nossa Senhora do Livramento as “the Old German”.
What a cunning disguise, calling yourself Adolf. Genius. And much better than those disguises the German leader used when living in Canada.
The man at the centre of the controversial claim is pictured, two years before his death in 1984, posing happily with his black girlfriend Cutinga.
Simoni Renee Guerreiro Dias, who wrote Hitler in Brazil – His Life and His Death, claims he was in the area hunting for buried treasure using a map given to him by friends withing [sic] the Vatican.
Brilliant. This one’s almost got the lot. Buried treasure. Nazis. Papery. Chuck in a gnostic dwarf sidekick and we’re there.
She insists that Hitler was using his lover Cutinga to hide his true identity as a vile Aryan supremacist.
Presumably he also concealed his rabid, murderous racism by shouting “Yippee!” whenever Spurs won, Pele scored or a Nazi was hanged?
Simoni, a Brazilian jew, refuses to accept that the Fuhrer shot himself in his Berlin bunker on April 30 1945. She is demanding that Leipzig’s remains be exhumed and his DNA tested tested against living relatives of Hitler.
How likely is that? Don’t bother answering. It’s a rhetorical question.
She told local journalists: “I just laughed at first, I thought it was a joke. Today I’m convinced it is true and Adolf Hitler didn’t end up here by chance.”…And she claims that he chose the surname of Leipzig because it was the birthplace of Hitler’s favourite composer, Bach.
As in Baching.
But the tin lid on this story come in the next line:
Her suspicions about Adolf Leipzig increased after she Photoshopped a moustache onto the grainy picture she obtained of him and compared it to photos of the Nazi leader.
@jimwaterson had a go:
And then the second clincher, lest you still doubt it:
According to Simoni, an unidentified Polish nun recognised an elderly man due to have an op at a hospital in Cuiaba in the early eighties as Hitler and demanded he leave – but was reprimanded by a superior who claimed he was there on Vatican orders.
He was only obeying orders. What are the odds?