Poo-Phoria: Huge Hairy Orgasmic Pooh Found In East Kilbride Sewer
THAT’S a huge pooh down the toilet in Scotland. It’s a massive Winnie the Pooh teddy found lurking in Scotland’s sewers last year. Other items found:
You can work the mind’s eye and work out how each item made it down there. The fax machine, once the go-ahead office tool, is redundant. The fax roll makes a handy emergency toilet paper substitute, but the rest of the machine is merely its clunky dispenser. The bicycle you bought after the London Olympics never did bring health, vigour and sporting glory. It just gathered dust and the Lycra leggings made your paunch look like a prolapsed hernia.
The snake was in its natural urban home.
Scottish Water has publicised these pictures to show that not everything dissolves or can be eaten by rats.
As for the Winnie the Pooh teddy found in East Kilbride in South Lanarkshire, did you ever hear of Poo-phoria?
Princeton gastroenterologist Dr Anish Sheth claims the key to feeling poo-phoria is the need to pass a large stool. It can be “like a religious experience or an orgasm”. While passing the large stool, it can stimulate nerves in the body more usually associated with having an orgasm.
“The distension of the rectum that comes with the passing of a large mass of stool causes the vagus nerve to fire. To some it may feel like a religious experience, to others like an orgasm, and to a lucky few like both.”
Praise be for an epic poo.
It might be be the Tao of Pooh, coupled with a large post-booze kebab and a fried Mars Bar chaser.