The Ukraine Will Be Saved By Tweets From Kasabian
YOU will no doubt have seen the state of the Ukraine at the moment. Some of the images that have come from that corner of the world have been powerful, depressing, exciting and downright upsetting.
Kiev was ablaze and government snipers picked off Ukrainians at random and the whole bloody, gory thing was enough to make you hide under your bedsheets and cry forever.
However, we’ve been silly. We needn’t have worried one bit because, in the face of all that violence and adversity, a saviour was gliding into view.
Ladies and gentlefolk, war is over, if you want it… because Kasabian did a tweet.
That’s right! Kasabian’s Serge Pizzorno – the one who looks like the product of a beefeater having had sex with a pack of value sausages – sent some love through his smartphone toward the people of the Ukraine. Their fearful tears and despairing anger will now be replaced with great feelings of hope and peace, because some fella with a giant haircut dribbled something in 140-characters or less.
The hundreds dead… the hundreds wounded… they did not perish or suffer in vain.
Tweeting from the official Kasabian account, Pizzorno wrote: “Sending love to our Ukrainian brothers and sisters, remembering the privilege we had in playing Kiev’s Olympic Stadium July ’12… Our hearts are with you. Sergio x”.
What’s remarkable is that Serge managed to get a humble-brag in there. He didn’t say “I’ve met some wonderful people in the Ukraine” but rather, “remember when we played the Olympic Stadium”, which is nice of him isn’t it?
So, while protesters kick off with the president because he refused to sign a trade deal with the EU… while blood runs in the street and buildings burn.. while Ukrainians turn on each other with appalling violence… while the government accuse the opposition leaders for forcing unrest on the country… while Russia views the whole thing as an attempted coup… while some children grow without their parents in a country that sends its own military to kill citizens… at least we all now know that Serge had a nice time in the Olympic Stadium and sent a tweet.
Serge is almost guaranteed a spot in heaven for his brave, selfless actions.