Glastonbury Is Dead But ‘The Best Is Yet To Come’
FOR people who don’t like hippies, festival-goers, indie music, ridiculous gig flags, wankers in bucket hats, posh girls in bindhis, heritage rock bands and wacky BBC presenters, the blanket coverage of the Glastonbury Festival is worse than a million Royal Weddings.
The bad news for Glastohaters is that the event has just had its license renewed for another decade.
And Glastonbury gaffer Emily Eavis – she took it over from her dad, Michael – has promised that ‘the best is yet to come’.
The license allows Glastonbury to run until 2024 with a cap on audience numbers (it can’t be increased from 135,000 at each event). That’s 135k people who will say that Glastonbury is ‘more than just a festival’ and blither on about the ‘feeling’ and such, champing at the bit to buy cheap silver jewellery and dreadful wellies with quirky designs on.
“That’s fantastic news, it’s so good to have a plan that will help everything at Worthy Farm move forward,” she said following the announcement. “I’d just like to say a huge thank-you to all the people who have contributed so much to Glastonbury Festival over the last 44 years, I really do believe that the best is yet to come.”
The next Glastonbury (pronounced ‘Glaston-berry’ if you’re American) is rumoured to have David Bowie headlining. And Kasabian too, which isn’t good news for anyone who isn’t a first year university LAD who will be arfing and barfing their way through a series of NekNominations.
Looking whiter than ever, Glasto!