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Anorak | BBC To Be Replaced By Rolling Noel Edmonds

BBC To Be Replaced By Rolling Noel Edmonds

by | 16th, March 2014

 

noel edmonds tv

 

NOEL EDMONDS will save the BBC from “inevitable disaster”. Yes, the man who gave us shaved Dave Lee Travis as Mr Blobby and who fronts  Deal or No Deal  will refuse to ever work for the corporation again. No. It’s something worse than that. The BBC will be replaced by rolling Noel Edmonds.

Can it be that former BBC Radio 1 DJ will get to run the entire corporation?

The BBC is renewing its charter in 2017. And Edmonds is ready. He writes in the Sunday Times:

“Forget renewing the current charter in 2016, an act as futile as giving medicine to a corpse.”

Instead, Edmonds points to his Project Reith, a group of wealthy investors willing to buy the BBC. He adds:

“Finding the money to pay a fair market price is not the problem.”

ARe the investors like the Banker he speaks to on the cosmic phone on Deal or No Deal , the show in which contestants have to guess which box contains the most money as Noel blathers on about their “game plan” in a desperate bid to pad the end of the pier show out to 30 minutes? Every so often, Noel talks in to the Banker, a person whom we never see nor hear. Only Noel hears the voice of Banker on his Fisher Price phone. Replace the word banker with “mother”, “God” or “Noel” and the shows takes on a darker and more interesting significance.

(Noel, when you run the Blobby Broadcasting Corporation, call us. We have ideas.)

What is the problem, then? The Sunday Times notes one:

James Purnell, the BBC’s director of strategy, warned last week a proposed decriminalisation of licence fee evasion could lose the corporation about 5% of its income, or £200m a year, and lead to the closure of BBC4, CBeebies and CBBC.

The Telegraph adds:

More than 180,000 people almost 3,500 a week appeared before the Magistrates Courts in 2012, accused of watching television without a valid licence in, with 155,000 being convicted and fined.

More than 100 backbench MPs from all the major political parties are now supporting a

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Posted: 16th, March 2014 | In: TV & Radio Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink